Sub-Atmospheric Mammals Distressed as Eastern Hive Disrupts Shiny Metal Rituals

One of the leading tribal candidates for the position of Chief Resource Tracker, a biped named Bessent, has expressed visible distress over the fluctuating value of their favorite inert yellow sludge: gold. In a display of classic Earth-bound myopia, he blames the unruly behavior of the Eastern landmass hive for destabilizing the fictional resource credits tethered to this soft, useless element.

For those unfamiliar with Sector 7's primitive economy, humans do not trade energy or matter-replicator components. Instead, they dig up shiny rocks, bury them in different holes, and then experience mass panic when the price—a number they simply made up—shifts by a fraction. The Eastern hive-traders have apparently decided to acquire these rocks at a pace that confuses the Western tribal shamans, leading to accusations of unruly conduct.

It is truly a marvel of evolutionary stagnation. These creatures are on the verge of total ecological collapse, yet their primary concern remains the erratic movement of a metal that cannot even conduct high-yield plasma. They call this finance. I call it a very loud game of pretend played by monkeys in suits.

Expect more frantic posturing as the Western tribes realize they no longer hold a monopoly on the imaginary value of their shiny trinkets.

— Zog-7, Sector 7 Observer